Too often we take for granted that our friends and families are going to be there for us. When you are making changes in your life for the better, you may find that some of the people in your circle don’t really have your back.
When fisherman set out to catch crabs they place a basket on the ocean floor with an opening that does not close. The crabs climb in, nestle in the bottom, and they don’t climb back, despite the open door. When one crab tries to climb out, the others pull him back down.
Has this happened to you?
When we start to make positive changes in our lives, doing bigger and better things, friends and family can be more of an obstacle than a cheerleader. This can manifest as a lack of support or interest, or discouragement, they may even say flat out, “I don’t think you can’t do it!”
Now why would someone who loves you fail to support you or keep you from growing?
They fear that they will lose you or that you will fail so they discourage you from moving forward and potentially away from them. In either case, they are protecting themselves or you from potential pain.
Understanding their motives doesn’t make their behavior okay, but it does offer insight and an opportunity to understand their perspective and address their fears. If an open and honest discussion with the person(s) doesn’t result in the change, or the kind of support you need, then you may have to re-evaluate your relationships, priorities, and goals.
There are times in our lives when the relationships we have are no longer a fit and you may have to let go of something old to gain something new.
One of the few things we can do in our lives is state our needs to people, and if they are unable to meet those needs then the relationship is no longer reciprocal or beneficial. This can be a difficult process, but potentially necessary if you are committed to success and achieving your goals.
If you’ve got crabs, take as an opportunity to fine tune your support system by identifying those who are going to have your back and be the support you need, and making the tough decisions for those who don’t.