Confidence, in the right amount, can be an attractive, influential, and powerful quality. Just like adding spice to your favorite dish, too much is unpalatable, and too little has no impact. However, confidence comes easier to some than others. It was not too long ago, a passionate, smart, and beautiful young woman asked me if I ever felt insecure. Not only was I surprised to learn that she did not feel confident, but she was also equally surprised to learn that I, too, felt insecure at times. While some people may be born with it, genuine confidence takes intention and practice. Here are 6 things you can do to increase your confidence.
Believe the Hype
Everyone is good at something! There is always at least one or two things people frequently compliment you for; maybe you have a great smile, or you’re funny, perhaps you can juggle like no one’s business. Whichever it is, believe it. It’s like the expression; the first time is chance, second a coincidence, the third time a pattern. When it’s a patter, you can believe.
Ignore the Voices
We all have that inner voice that preys on our fears and insecurities. Sometimes that voice is a soft whisper and other times it screams! In either case, ignore it, tune it out, and be aware that that voice is a liar. It’ll give you a laundry list of reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t do something. Shut out the voice, and do what it tells you cannot do.
Avoid the Haters
Surround yourself with people who lift you up, support your dreams, and encourage you. Life is too short, and our egos too fragile to spend time with haters. Spend time with people you admire and respect, and in turn, who offer you the same.
Embrace your Imperfections
No one is perfect! We all have at least one thing, if not more, we’d like to be different. Some things we can improve upon, but there will always be something we cannot change. Embrace what you cannot change; eventually, those imperfections will become less imperfect, and more of a quirk or unique feature we accept about ourselves. What was once something that made you insecure, is not just part of the entire AWESOME package which is you.
Comparing yourself to others is a losing battle and exercise in futility. We have no idea what people really have, how they really feel, or how happy they really are. Whether it is someone in the media or someone in your real life, when we compare ourselves to others, we’ll never stack up, because it isn’t a real or fair comparison. Measure and evaluate yourself with your own goals and achievements. You are the only person who can be the best version of yourself.
Be your #1 Fan
Too often we rely on praise and validation from others; cheer yourself on, give yourself compliments, and encourage yourself to do new things. If there is something you know you are good at, do more of it. If there is something you’re not so good at, do something to improve. Take advantage of the deep knowledge you have of your own strengths, accomplishments, and dreams; use that knowledge to build yourself up. If you believe, so will others.
Repeat any and all steps as necessary.